When something doesn’t work in your life, you might complain about it. You might even say that you want to change it. But that’s all on the conscious level.
On an unconscious level, you’re likely holding a belief that is causing the dysfunctional condition in your life.
I read a blog post by a person who started a new job. They didn’t receive the benefits they were promised during the interview. The management of the company was all over the place, and the company was having financial difficulties.
Thanks to the booming economy, this person started to receive new job offers with better conditions. You might think that they immediately quit their job and switched to a company with more competent management.
That wasn’t the case. That person didn’t do that. They stuck with the company that underpaid them, that didn’t provide the benefits they promised, and that had incompetent management. Can you imagine why?
This person saw their act of staying in the underpaid job as a heroic act. They saw themselves as the martyr who sacrificed themselves for a company who needed them. They derived a sense of significance, importance, and pride from this act.
If they switched to another job in a company with competent management, they’d be just another employee. Sure, they’d be paid better and receive a better benefit package, but they’d lose their status of the self-sacrificing martyr.
In this case, this person is aware of the benefit they were receiving from their unfavorable position in their career. Most of the time, we aren’t conscious of the benefit we derive from the dysfunctional situation in our lives.
David Hawkins recommends to let go of the juice you get out of a feeling to let that feeling go. You might be struggling with fear, sadness, or anger, and you might want to let them go, but have you asked yourself what juice you get out of those emotions?
Even though anger is considered to be a negative emotion, it’s also an energizing emotion. When we feel angry, we feel alive. We feel on fire.
If you can’t let go of the juice of feeling alive, feeling on fire, feeling energized, you won’t be able to let go of your anger. Then, you might ask yourself why all “the idiots” find you. You come across all those “idiots,” because you secretly enjoy the feelings they incite in you.
Sadness can be a sweet emotion as well. You might get a cup of tea, listen to Brahms in the silence of the evening, and get into that low energy state, which can be very relaxing. If you are addicted to that emotional state, don’t complain about all the losses you incur in life that trigger that feeling.
If there’s something in your life that doesn’t work that you want to change, look at the feelings that condition triggers in you. Then look at the benefits you’re getting from those feelings. Are you willing to let go of those benefits? If yes, do it, and you’ll transform that dysfunctional situation in life.
- What’s the dysfunctional situation in your life?
- Which emotions does it trigger?
- What are the benefits of those emotions?
- Are you willing to let go of those benefits?
Burak BilginSoftware developer with a Ph.D. and 15 years of experience. I write daily on personal development and life lessons. Sign up to my email newsletter to receive a weekly overview of my latest content on personal development and life lessons.